...of charm and strange: the blog

Grade: 8
Subject: English
Description: Curse poem. The teacher gave us the first two lines and then told us to make it a complete poem. This is actually pretty fucked up.

If I could put a curse on you
I would have a laugh or two
May your hair combust in flames
May your folks forget your name
May your dog whose name is Rover
Meet a truck and get run over
May your friends desert your side
And say you make them want to hide
May you fail the SS final ["That's 'Social Studies,' y'all." -- Eric 2003]
May you break your mother's china
May you get a terminal disease
That makes your body swarm with fleas
May a spider bite your neck
May you die and go to Heck
May an anvil land on your head
And squish you till you're nearly dead
And then I'll take a can of Mace
And spray it empty in your face
May you tumble down a pit
And never climb out of it
Break your leg and sprain your knee
That would make me laugh with glee!
Gouge your eyes out with a fork
May your girlfriend call you a dork
Take a razor and shave you bald
Swear and cuss when you are called
Then I'll stab you with a knife
And then you'll lose your life
Smack your head with a crowbar
Dump your body where the cows are ["This is some bad rhyming up in here." -- Eric 2003]