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less charming and more strange than your average blog
January 13, 2004
The scariest thing I've ever thought of
The laughing cow, except with human hands for feet, so that it can turn your doorknob and come into your bedroom and tap you on the shoulder (human hands!) until you wake up and then laugh with a human voice right in your face until you die. Then it prank calls everyone you know, because it has HUMAN HANDS FOR FEET AND IS ABLE TO DO THINGS LIKE OPERATE A TELEPHONE.
UPDATED: And then it uses its human hands to write a note that says, "There are no such thing as laughing cows with human hands for feet." It sticks the note on your front door, and now when your family comes home, they will have no idea that danger lurks inside because they will think that laughing cows with human hands for feet don't exist!
Oh my god! What if that's what mad cow disease is? The cows go crazy and grow human hands for feet (!) and put on some earrings made of cheese and enter the bedrooms of the innocent? If your hamburger starts laughing with a human voice, put it down immediately. That's all I can tell you.
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UPDATED: And then it uses its human hands to write a note that says, "There are no such thing as laughing cows with human hands for feet." It sticks the note on your front door, and now when your family comes home, they will have no idea that danger lurks inside because they will think that laughing cows with human hands for feet don't exist!
Oh my god! What if that's what mad cow disease is? The cows go crazy and grow human hands for feet (!) and put on some earrings made of cheese and enter the bedrooms of the innocent? If your hamburger starts laughing with a human voice, put it down immediately. That's all I can tell you.
