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less charming and more strange than your average blog
February 09, 2004
Jackson one
On the news this morning, a woman interviewed some guy from TV Guide about the recent Janet-Jackson-breast-showing-at-the-Superbowl-oh-my-god! incident. She said, "It's no longer a question of taste, it's a question of morality." And I think that's wrong.
It's not that I'm so thrilled that Janet's stupid breast made a cameo in her stupid performance with stupid Justin Timberlake. I'm not jumping for joy that attached to said breast was a nipple shield that could theoretically have been used by King Arthur to defend himself against dragons. I just don't understand how we got from "gross" to "immoral." Rape is immoral. Theft is immoral. Mariah Carey is immoral. Janet Jackson's breast all by itself isn't immoral, not just sitting there. It wasn't robbing a bank, people. It wasn't pushing over old ladies. While it is entirely possible that these are recreational activities highly enjoyed by Janet Jackson's breast, we can't just make those assumptions, can we?
Last week, "Janet Jackson's breast" became the most searched-for phrase in internet history. The other top contenders were "Madonna and Britney kiss" and...wait for it..."September 11." Janet's tit, Madonna and Britney making out, and the most horrific act of terrorism in American history. This is so bad it's funny.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think a breast is a question of morality. It's a breast. Most people are quite fond of them. The way Janet did it was tasteless and revolting, but so was the rest of her performance. And so is most of what I see on TV, so instead of freaking the fuck out, I just don't watch very much of it unless it involves the words "Jennifer" and "Garner."
On the news, the guy from TV Guide said that this incident could mean "the end of live television." Whatever. We fear the shockwave of societal ramifications of Janet Jackson's right breast, but the rest of TV is nothing but a mishmash of violence and reality TV and nobody from TV Guide cares about that. I bet Janet Jackson's breast had no idea it wielded so much power over humankind. Last week, it showed itself on televison. Maybe next week it will forge a ring of power to ENSLAVE THE HUMAN RACE AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
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It's not that I'm so thrilled that Janet's stupid breast made a cameo in her stupid performance with stupid Justin Timberlake. I'm not jumping for joy that attached to said breast was a nipple shield that could theoretically have been used by King Arthur to defend himself against dragons. I just don't understand how we got from "gross" to "immoral." Rape is immoral. Theft is immoral. Mariah Carey is immoral. Janet Jackson's breast all by itself isn't immoral, not just sitting there. It wasn't robbing a bank, people. It wasn't pushing over old ladies. While it is entirely possible that these are recreational activities highly enjoyed by Janet Jackson's breast, we can't just make those assumptions, can we?
Last week, "Janet Jackson's breast" became the most searched-for phrase in internet history. The other top contenders were "Madonna and Britney kiss" and...wait for it..."September 11." Janet's tit, Madonna and Britney making out, and the most horrific act of terrorism in American history. This is so bad it's funny.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think a breast is a question of morality. It's a breast. Most people are quite fond of them. The way Janet did it was tasteless and revolting, but so was the rest of her performance. And so is most of what I see on TV, so instead of freaking the fuck out, I just don't watch very much of it unless it involves the words "Jennifer" and "Garner."
On the news, the guy from TV Guide said that this incident could mean "the end of live television." Whatever. We fear the shockwave of societal ramifications of Janet Jackson's right breast, but the rest of TV is nothing but a mishmash of violence and reality TV and nobody from TV Guide cares about that. I bet Janet Jackson's breast had no idea it wielded so much power over humankind. Last week, it showed itself on televison. Maybe next week it will forge a ring of power to ENSLAVE THE HUMAN RACE AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
