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less charming and more strange than your average blog

April 25, 2004

After getting milkshakes at Jack in the Box tonight 

David: Here, pass me the milkshake.

Eric: It's still pretty cold. You might not be able to get any through the straw yet.

David: I can't wait. I'll cup my hands around it and try to melt it a little.

Eric: La la, la la, laaaaaa...

David: Warm it up!

Eric: Holy shit! That's what she's singing about!

David: Who?

Eric: Kelis! She got a milkshake from Jack in the Box that was too cold, and now she's singing about having to warm it up so it's suckable!

David: Except that Kelis would totally have no problem. It could be solid concrete in that cup and she wouldn't even break a sweat.

Eric: Snerk.

Luke: Oh, that's nice. What, she's good at sucking things just because her song is a little naughty?

David: Considering the song is generally believed to be about giving blowjobs to the entire neighborhood...

Luke: That's terrible!

Eric: I know, right?

Luke: That's not what I meant.

David: Kelis is like one of those snakes who can eat a rat in one bite.

Eric: What? No she's not.

David: She is too! She could probably handle anything.

Eric: We're talking about being able to suck a basketball through a garden hose, not eating the basketball without chewing it first.

Luke: You guys are seriously gross.

David: Yeah, but all I'm saying is...you have to, you know, be able to put big things down your throat, you know, without choking...if you want to be as...talented as Kelis.

Eric: That's not the point. The point is her sucking skills, not her gag reflex. Or lack thereof.

David: But they're related!

Eric: One is relevant and the other isn't.

David: God, I was just trying to make a point.

Eric: Which is?

David: I'm trying to say that Kelis can eat a rat, okay? I mean, if she wants. It's her thing.

Eric: Whatever.

David: Can you believe we solved the mystery of that fucking song?

Eric: We're so awesome.

Luke: Pass me the milkshake.
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