...of charm and strange: the blog

Eric: I think there's something I'm missing from the Catwoman trailer.

David: Besides the desire to see it?

Eric: Yes. I understand that she starts out all mild-mannered and shit--

David: Her character's name is "Patience," by the way, in case we're not able to discern her mild-manneredness from Halle Berry's performance.

Eric: How much should they have just run with it and named her "Catherine Woman"?

David: A lot.

Eric: Anyway, I understand that she starts out as this mild-mannered woman who takes shit from everyone. And I understand that she ends up as...whatever.

David: Feline-themed bondage queen.

Eric: So what the hell? How does she get from Point A to Point B? In the trailer, it just says, "From a life that was taken...a new one will be born." What does that mean?

David: I don't know. I think she's dead, and some cats come and sniff her, and then she's Catwoman.

Eric: That's it? They sniff her?

David: I don't know. Maybe they bite her. They could be radioactive.

Eric: Maybe you can fill me in on how the fuck cats become radioactive.

David: Maybe they ate nuclear waste first.

Eric: I can't even tell you how many more questions than answers are raised by that explanation.

David: And maybe the radioactive cats tried to give her a haircut and that's why her new hairdo looks like shit.

Eric: It's just so random. What if, I don't know, rats had come and sniffed her instead? Isn't that way more likely?

David: "RATWOMAN"!

Eric: Heh, heh, heh.

David: I would totally pay to see that! The movie would be Halle Berry wearing a big furry costume and spreading plague. Box office gold.

Eric: I'm so not even buying this "Catwoman" business. They're just going to focus on the "sexy" aspects of her catness and ignore the interesting stuff, like whether she poops in a toilet or buries it in the yard.

[silence]

David: I have to leave right now.