less charming and more strange than your average blog

June 25, 2004

Don't you wanta? 

Most of us are far more acquainted with the so-called "Fantanas" than we would like to be. The exception would be if you are dead, or perhaps living under a rock of some sort. If this is the case, consider yourself lucky because these bitches really want you to drink their soda and if they find you, they are going to sing at you until you do it. Then they will probably do it some more, because they want to make sure you drink it until the day you die.

The Fantanas are a pop group invented to advertise for Fanta sodas, which is the worst idea that has ever been thought of. Their music video is shown in movie theaters right before or right after the Fandango paper bag puppets. If you go to their official site, you can read bios for each of the girls, like Lola, the pineapple flavored one:

Lola did very well in school. She was offered scholarships to attend Ivy-League schools, but she opted to stay on Fantana Island and earned an online degree...Lola served as editor of her high school newspaper and literary magazine and loves to write poetry. It only makes sense that she writes most of the lyrics for the Fantanas.

It should be noted that the Fantana's song consists of exactly one phrase, "Don't you wanta." I hope Harvard doesn't think it's missing much. The Fantanas explode out of every conceivable location and chant this phrase over and over until your brain explodes, at which point the Fantanas emerge from the screen and drag your corpse back to Fantana Island to be their friend.

Anyway, I don't know how David ended up at the official Fanta website of Denmark, but apparently there is a special feature on this site where you can add your own kooky subtitles to actual news footage, which I have done here.

Doesn't news footage with wacky subtitles make you want to DRINK SO MUCH FANTA?

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